There's a difference between reactive anger and grounded anger. Reactive anger blames: "Look at what you've done. You screwed this up. This is your fault." You make them responsible for how you feel. You lose yourself in process. Grounded anger owns it: "I'm angry. This isn't okay with me. Here's what I need." You stay in your body. You fully feel the emotion. You speak from what's true for you. Same emotion. One gives your power away, while the other lets you be fully expressed and known without losing yourself.