Tech finance is embarrassingly vanilla. The greats of Wall Street were true innovators. Kravis gave us LBOs. Milken gave us junk bonds. Jim Simons gave us quant-driven algo trading. Silicon Valley gives us… a YC SAFE notes with … a discount? BORING. Wake me up when I can buy defense tech junk bonds collateralized by Anduril secondaries. I want to see Stripe employee option pools securitized and sold with triple-leveraged exotic swaps. I want to trade OpenAI RSUs using delta-gamma derivatives priced with Greek letters I didn’t even know existed.