At 27, Sun Yuchen can understand things that many people only grasp at 57. Perhaps Sun Yuchen is truly a genius. Why not get married? Question: Why haven't you gotten married yet? You're already 27. Sun Yuchen: Indeed, I feel that as a guy, the pressure is a bit less, but it seems that in China, if you are a woman and you are 26 and not married, this question will definitely be asked by everyone. Even some of my ex-girlfriends broke up with me mainly because they couldn't see the possibility of marrying me within the next three years. In fact, most women won't even wait three years; if there’s no response in six months, they will want to break up. I really admire the social environment in Europe and America, where not everyone’s life goal is marriage, but rather their own personal development and career. In this kind of society, people are not required to explain their reasons for choosing not to marry. It’s quite strange; married people don’t have to justify their reasons for getting married, but those who are not married must explain their reasons for not marrying. It’s really absurd. So I hope that in 10 to 20 years, this situation in China can change. If we return to the essence of marriage, I personally believe that the essence of marriage is to form a family. It’s essentially about choosing your family partner, and the way to choose a partner is much scarier than how a company chooses a partner because if a company can’t reach an agreement, they can part ways. But in a family partnership, there is no exit mechanism; the day you exit means the collapse of the company, the breakdown of the family, and all assets must be immediately liquidated, with each person taking half. You can see several issues: first, it’s a complete communal pot; second, the exit mechanism is a destruction mechanism, right? So in this situation, I think finding a partner should be done with great caution. I even believe that two people should live closely together for at least two years before getting married; one year is the absolute minimum, so you can understand whether this person is compatible with you and whether you can maintain consistency when major life issues arise. So personally, I feel that regarding marriage, I first do not take marriage as my goal, and I think if I, Sun Yuchen, never get married in my life, it’s not a big sin or an unfinished task. But I also hope to find my true soulmate and be with her, but I will be very cautious about this. Question: Why do people born in the 90s not need marriage? Why did our society in the past resist marriage? Sun Yuchen: First, it’s important to understand that not everyone is suited for marriage, nor does everyone need to get married. Marriage is essentially a "family partnership" project, similar to starting a business; not everyone is suitable for it. Whether or not to find this partner depends on yourself, and it’s fine if you don’t find one—this is the first point. Secondly, marriage means relinquishing both parties' freedom, forming a partnership system. Therefore, it’s normal for two people to have disputes in their independent development, and their independence may be compromised because one of the costs of marriage is sacrificing a part of that independence. Can you accept that? If you can’t, it may lead to divorce, and the cost of divorce is very high. In other words, "relinquishing freedom to form a partnership" is not suitable for everyone, nor is it suitable for every stage of life. Thirdly, the family unit of marriage often amplifies social risks. Ideally, it should be mutual support, but in reality, there often arises the risk of "one person’s problem, the whole family pays the price": one person gambles, the whole family bears the consequences; one person incurs debt, the whole family is liable; one person falls seriously ill, the whole family bears the burden. Risks that an individual could face independently are amplified by the financial and emotional connections of the family, and the unit’s ability to withstand risks is actually insufficient, easily leading to cascading effects that drag down everyone’s development. Fourthly, from the current practical experience, marriage may generally lead to a decrease in quality of life, which is also normal. There are only 24 hours in a day; if you invest a lot of time in "partnering with a partner," you naturally cannot allocate the same amount of time to explore your personal life. Many interests and many things you want to do require negotiation between two people, and personal pace inevitably gets diluted. In the past, being single was not "comfortable" enough; living alone was costly and cumbersome; now, technology and services make single life increasingly friendly, with more choices and higher efficiency. Once married, that portion of free time will be relinquished. Fifthly, the "exit mechanism" of marriage is not perfect, and divorce often brings huge economic and energy costs. It’s not a breakup that can be ended by "deleting a WeChat contact"; it involves property, division of joint assets, and even child custody and visitation arrangements. The complexity and cost are often much higher than when not married. This is also a realistic risk that we must consider when contemplating marriage. Sixth, and this is the most important point in the context of China: once you enter the marriage track, it easily triggers strong intervention from parents, relatives, and even the entire social circle. Especially when your wedding is tied to "traditional lists" such as buying a house, buying a car, dowries, and gifts, and requires parental savings or elder endorsements, you can easily get caught up in the value system and behavioral logic of the previous generation, becoming a "vassal" of the entire event, allowing the worldview of your elders to dominate your life choices. ...