I stayed up all night, wanting to sleep but unable to, so I decided not to sleep at all. At four in the morning, I watched a short drama called "Can You Allow Me to Be Young Again?" The plot is basically about the male lead being reborn and wanting to save his first love, the female lead, but he couldn't save her, which made me feel emo. I thought about it, and it's been almost three years since I've been in a relationship. I haven't even held a girl's hand in a long time. Every time someone asks me if I'm dating, I say I haven't dated in three years, just one relationship, and no one believes me. My true thought is to make money first before dating. Sigh, but sometimes I wonder if by the time I make money, I won't be able to find love anymore. After dropping out, I spent a year and a half messing around by myself and didn't earn a dime. My health and mental strength have actually deteriorated quite a bit. Last year, I didn't go home for the New Year because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to hold my head up in front of relatives and family. When I first came out, I had over 100,000 on me, and now my pockets are almost empty. I feel embarrassed to say what I'm doing. This year, I thought about not going back, but that wouldn't work either. Actually, I've already returned to my hometown but plan to wait until New Year's Eve to go home. I bought my mom a gold and a silver piece since her birthday is on the first day of the New Year. After buying the gifts, I actually have only a few bucks left, just enough to buy New Year goods and give red envelopes to kids when visiting relatives, plus a little for living expenses for the next few months after the New Year. After the New Year, I'll go back to my rental and start my trench PvP life again. I might have to find a job too, hoping to catch a big opportunity this new year and finally get on my feet. After entering society, I guess it will be hard to encounter a first love like in school again. On the day of my first breakup, she cursed me with a harsh line: "I wish you could never find a girl as good as me in your life." Every time I think back on it, it hurts my heart, but I guess I brought this upon myself, so I just have to bear it. I'm not young anymore this year; I can't say like when I first came out that I have plenty of time and opportunities to make mistakes. I believe I can achieve my results in cryptocurrency. I'm a man who will earn my A8 even if I only have 10U left in my pocket.