For the first time in my life I am verbalizing a goal that I'd like to achieve by the end of this year (instead of keeping it to myself like a superstition or secret) and it is the scariest thing I've ever done

My whole life, I have been terrified of Wanting. Every time I Desire, it goes badly or is taken away from me. I thought the lesson was that I can have whatever I want, as long as I do not Desire it. Maybe that's wrong. I can have exactly what I need, but only if I really need it.

I'm not sure if I'm ready to Type the Desire Out, but I am saying it to people IRL. I will see if this spell works. I hope it does, it would mean a lot to me.