Imagine you're going home for the New Year, your dad talks about A-shares in AI and military industry, your brother discusses US stocks like Nvidia and Tesla, and your sister's wedding gold and silver have appreciated several times over. At this moment, they ask you — the youngest, trendiest, and most sophisticated investor in the family — what you've invested in recently? They've only heard about virtual currencies from you and the People's Daily, and they find blockchain both mysterious and attractive. Then you tell them, I just bought "I'm here to kick ass." They momentarily don't know how to react, unsure of what you're talking about. Then you start saying things like: "bn alpha, the number one exchange in the universe, sister, approachable, community-focused," and so on. They nod along, half-understanding, awkwardly smile and say it's great, then turn back to discuss what good targets there are in commercial spaceflight, leaving you to mumble "I'm here to kick ass," not knowing why your face feels hot...