🚨 ### BREAKING: CNBC’s Top Markets Correspondent Discovered to Hold U.S. Dollars in Personal Bank Account – Massive Ethical Breach Rocks Financial Media By Staff Writer, Financial Desk New York, NY – November 30, 2025 In a scandal that has sent shockwaves through the world of high finance and cable-news green rooms, CNBC senior markets correspondent Derek J. Harrington was exposed late Friday for possessing an estimated $47,312.19 in actual United States dollars across several checking and high-yield savings accounts. The revelation, first reported by the Substack newsletter IntegrityWatch69, raises serious questions about Harrington’s ability to objectively cover the American economy while simultaneously owning its primary unit of account. “Mr. Harrington has spent years breathlessly reporting on GDP prints, Fed dot plots, and whether the yield curve is about to invert again,” said media ethics professor Dr. Evelyn Pureheart of Georgetown University. “Yet all this time he was literally long the currency he was supposed to be neutrally analyzing. This is the journalistic equivalent of a Supreme Court justice owning a private jet manufacturer while ruling on aviation regulations.” Sources close to the investigation confirm that Harrington’s Bank of America Preferred checking account currently shows a balance of $11,847.63 USD, while a secondary Ally Bank high-yield savings account (currently yielding a scandalous 4.20% APY) contains another $35,464.56—also, inexplicably, in United States dollars. When reached for comment outside his Connecticut home, Harrington attempted to downplay the controversy. “Look, I hold a diversified portfolio,” he told reporters while clutching a Starbucks cup that cost $6.75 (paid in U.S. dollars). “I’ve got some euros from a 2017 vacation, maybe twelve Canadian dollars in a drawer somewhere. I’m not just long USD.” CNBC issued a statement late Friday announcing that Harrington has been placed on unpaid leave and will be required to liquidate all dollar-denominated assets into non-conflicted currencies such as Berkshire Bucks. The network also confirmed it is launching an internal audit to determine whether other on-air talent may be compromised. Early reports suggest “Squawk Box” co-host Joe Kernen may have as much as $3.6 million in U.S. currency spread across multiple brokerage accounts, CDs, and a suspiciously thick mattress. Wall Street reacted with fury Sunday evening. Shares of CNBC parent company Comcast are primed to plunge 8% in obernight trading as investors worried that years of bullish U.S. economic coverage may have been tainted by reporters’ personal financial interest in the country continuing to function. “This is worse than the GameStop thing,” said one hedge-fund manager who asked to remain anonymous because he, too, is paid in U.S. dollars. “At least with meme stocks people disclosed their positions. These journalists were out here telling us inflation was ‘transitory’ while hoarding the very dollars that were supposedly losing value. The hypocrisy is staggering.” As of press time, the Securities and Exchange Commission has opened a probe into whether any financial journalists covering Treasury auctions have ever purchased groceries, paid rent, or filled up their gas tanks using the same currency they report on—potentially constituting illegal front-running of the entire monetary system. Harrington’s neighbors report that he was last seen attempting to barter a 2022 Tesla Model Y for a wheelbarrow full of Ukrainian hryvnia.