As a child from East Asia with strict self-expectations, I have been accustomed to self-PUA (self-psychological manipulation) since I was young, and my self-satisfaction has been very low. Recently, I have really liked a mind shift: "When you are self-denying, think about how sad you would be if you heard your parents criticize you like that when you were a child." Growing up is a process of re-parenting oneself, and a large part of it is about reshaping inner self-worth.